People who have read my blog know that I was diagnosed with PTSD a few years back. But a lot of other people don’t know that I was diagnosed with PCOS which is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. When I was first diagnosed with PCOS it was back when it was PCOD the D stood for Disease. I was told it was incurable and that because of it I would never have children.
At sixteen, that was depressing for me, especially since I always wanted to be a mother. Ever since I was very little. I always had a ton of baby dolls and stuffed animals. When I played with them they were my children.
They told me my only hope was birth control, but one of the side effects of Birth Control is that you may never have children like that. I was on it for a total of three years off and on. The problem with the BC was I was very hormonal, very angry, and always starving. Since I’ve been off the BC I’ve lost almost thirty pounds.I also started taking supplements to help me.
I also started taking supplements to help me with my PCOS. Because of that, I got all of the benefits of the BC without the downsides. I’m not suffering my hormonal or anger issues but everything is working normally and I’m not dying from pain every month.
So that’s me working on my physical health. Now as for my mental health…
I started seeing a very nice lady who is able to do EMDR or Eye-Movement Desensitizing Reprocessing. What it does is it basically works through your memories and makes it so that you can remember them without the emotions and flashbacks that came with them.
Weirdly enough anytime I get close to getting my mental health on track someone I know (and it’s always the same person) tends to go a little mental. I started doing EMDR when I was 22, that was when I got a phonecall from this person saying it was my fault their life was going down. I had to call 911 because while talking to me she downed 14 bottles of pills.
And anytime after that when I would go to look into doing EMDR this person would have one crisis or another. And she never knew that I was going to see these psychotherapists.
This nice lady that I started seeing was going through my mental history with me for two weeks. The day before my second week before we would start EMDR I got the most messed up text message from this person. I’m going to get my mental health on track. Nothing she can do will persuade me otherwise. Because I need to fix my mental health, or I’m never going to have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend.
That’s all I got!
Keep on Writing Dudes and Don’t forget to be awesome!